This IWD, if you’re going to have a fantasy, make it a good one!

In the spirit of accelerating action this International Women’s Day, I would like to share a refrain from Philippa Perry’s most recent book*.

The idea is, “If you’re going to have a fantasy, make it a good one”.

We’re often held back from action, from doing something beyond our comfort zone, by fearful stories in our head. A familiar story might be:

“I can’t be the person to share my expertise on a panel for this leadership event. I might get found out as someone who doesn’t know it all yet.”

Philippa Perry would say that stories like this are simply fantasies. They hold us back from taking action, from doing something we would actually love to try. Worst of all, they are terrible fantasies.

The reality is we can never be sure about what others will think or do in response to our actions. Whatever story we are telling ourselves, good, bad or indifferent, it is a fantasy. 

If you’re going to have a fantasy, at least make it a good one!

When considering taking action, why not tell ourselves an alternative story like:

“No-one can ever know everything. I’ll add real value to the panel discussion and the audience will warm to me if I share what I know and have the humility to pass the question to someone else if the discussion moves outside my area of expertise.” 

We want to accelerate action this International Women’s Day, so check your fantasies. Let’s not get in our own way with bad fantasies about how others will perceive us. Instead, as Philippa would say, “If you’re going to have a fantasy, make it a good one!”

*“The Book You Want Everyone You Love To Read *(and maybe a few you don't)”, by Philippa Perry.